Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
