tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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