i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's official drugs can't kill me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I pour the whiskey from now on
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
