Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
