Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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