Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
