oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
