it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
