I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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