there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
