she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
