That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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