i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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