Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
