I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
