you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
