I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
