Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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