are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
