I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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