Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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