i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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