i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
