Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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