she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there's paper in my vomit.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
