Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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