so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You know, be my cock's hype man.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize