i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
