1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Terrible idea I love it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
