He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just had sex on a roof
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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