Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
