kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
