I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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