Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
