you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
