I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
