did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
