I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize