I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize