Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I had to cum in my sink.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
