she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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