So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i barfeds in our rink
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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