I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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