i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
