I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
