I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
