I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
