Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
