ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
