I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
