He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize