I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
