We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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