Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
