you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
