If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
