i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize