For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Found the puke drawer
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
