In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Enjoy the penises
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
